dumb los angeles

Had a fun as hell Saturday night. Lexi came down from Santa Cruz to TU with me and Maddie. (A quick note on Lexi: I used to think I was a fun/funny person until I met her and found out what a real fun/funny person is. She literally makes a party everywhere she goes and I love her.) While we were waiting for Lexi to arrive, Maddie and I had a jam sesh (oh, did I tell y'all that together we're a band called The Dylars?) and cracked up over this article on the Dumb Starbucks that had just opened up that day in Los Feliz. Of course we had to go see it.

It was closed, but it still made me laugh hella hard. I heard people were waiting in line for 1.5 hours+ today. Like, I appreciate this for how literally dumb it is and how it's a ~critique on corporate coffee culture or w/e but people who are jizzing over themselves about how brilliant this is are doing a bit much. As are the people saying this is Banksy. (Not that Banksy is an artiste to be taken v srsly. Everyone out of high school knows he kinda sucks, right? Right.) I just think this is a funny and interesting thing and I respect whoever put the money into this.

We then made our way to Short Stop in Echo Park. All the things I've heard of this place indicated it was a mix of every kind of person you could meet in LA and it definitely was. I gave my number to a dude who told me he had bud and three pizzas at his place that he wanted me to have (so generous) and he ended up sending me his mixtape and then tried to call me this morning??? Made two best friends in the bathroom, a few on the dance floor, a few after the place closed, and had the following convo with a hipster dude wearing two long shirts that went past his knees and Timberlands:

Me: Sweet outfit.

Hipster: This outfit costs more than your rent.

Me: You're probably right. I like how you don't bother to tie your Timberlands.

Hipster: They're actually called [some bullshit I couldn't care less about].

Me: I don't care.

Hipster: [gestures to my outfit] One day, you'll figure out your style and you'll stop dressing like this.

Me: Whatever.

Hipster: [extends his fist to be pounded] Real recognize real.

I fucking hate Los Angeles. 

I think I say that as much as I say "I fucking love Los Angeles." Everyone must go through that. When we met up with Lexi, she had just unnecessarily taken the bus but said it was cool because she loves LA. And then when we got tried to find parking she said, "I fucking hate LA." 

Where else are you going to conversations with asshole hipsters and share cigarettes with creepy screenwriters and dance to a DJ who looks like Allen Ginsberg? Where else can you go to a Dumb Starbucks or Swingers or get dirty dogs at 2:30 in the morning? What other city can make you feel simultaneously fiercely loyal to and absolutely repelled by? I like this weird ass meta gentrified shallow sprawling mess of a city. I'm proud it's the city of my birth and the city of my early 20's. 

You can conveniently get a divorce right next to The Short Stop.